quick study break

so a quick study break from Psychology of Learning, my one class I am taking at USM. it was harder than anticipated and thus, much studying has been occurring, as of late. Tuesday is the final and I NEED a good grade. will be staked out here until they close at midnight, then tomorrow another camp out and Tuesday will consist of studying and then group studying before the exam.

frustrated, nervous, but i am learning and retaining information...it's a process.

back to it...

Update

It's been awhile friend. So much has happened.

Things are looking up. Trying to focus on the quality of each day in my life. I feel like I have put a lot of things into perspective in the last 9 months, possibly even 2 years. I have learned life lessons I would have rather'd not, yet with each one comes wisdom, growth and choices. I have definitely learned a lot! With that said, I have promised myself to look to the future and focus on what I can change and the little gifts I have each day.

A supportive and loving family, boyfriend, and friends, nice clean sheets, a pay check, going to the farmer's market (what a find! Thanks Allison), kickboxing, a season of Bones on DVR, Saturdays together, laundry clean, folded and put away, a home cooked meal, cheesy potatoes, babies, and keeping in touch, even if sparingly.

I am happy, despite some challenges, I wouldn't change a thing.

letting it all out

so day 3 back from vay-cay. interesting. it's always something and i am tired of playing. still feeling like a shell, but it's protection, nothing more. requesting transcripts tonight via Kinko's and feeling like things could fall into place for me. recommenders have already/started/finished with my letters. i love them. it's so great to have people in your life that want you to do well.

OK so I am putting myself out there and hoping for good vibes...i am applying to a joint program in art and design through northeastern and the school of the museum of fine arts in Boston:
http://www.northeastern.edu/gradstudies/
http://www.smfa.edu/

and...an art therapy program at Nazareth College in Rochester NY:
http://www.naz.edu/dept/grad_studies/

the good old boys club at la casa de trabajar is killing me. think i am taking it better but am not interested in playing ball and weaving their web. think i even pulled the rug out from giraffe man today. you can't expect me to do yoga when you have the memory of a bat and the flexibility of a chicken bone.

trying to be chill for everyone in my life and me as well. loving going to my trainer. go splurge! best $ i have spent in a long time to almost throw up and barely walk.

time to see a few amigos at amigos now, but first, let us not forget to fax those transcript requests! my ticket to freedom and hopefully a journey of happiness.

2010

more than a month since I last reported. crazy busy with art school apps. yep i am trying to get in despite all of the obstacles. all my slides still need to be scanned, the scanner was incompatible and now that's it's hooked up to 'Dre's beast of a computer, the color is all off. I am afraid to alter them for sake of being disqualified. i shall try my old scanner tonight and otherwise i will go gay $40 and have photo market steal my hard earned money.

waiting for responses from recommenders.....wish me luck.

working on personal statemnt, artist statement, and actual application as well as slide list and slide powerpoint!

but first, off to the gym to work with my personal trainer. possibly the best money i have spent in a long time!

stress

It is time to blog. Time to tell the world how I am feeling; maybe some blog therapy.

Two days ago I experienced the most outlandish form of rage at work. Let me create a visual - finger in my face, yelling, I told you that you are in my personal space, hyperventalaing, panic attack, bawling mess of a meeting.

Let's move ahead 2 days...
jaw clenching, stomach knotting, headache inducing, teeth grinding, sleep missing ball of emotions.

please fix.

Good afternoon web world.

Good afternnon. It's been awhile and have missed my blogger. Here I am mid-November and I am faced with art school graduat applications. How does one represent oneself in a one page document? I wish they required a blog entry instead. I am sitting in Panara trying to find my groove, green tea beside me, pink floral scarf to keep off the chill. Scored a sweet table right next to the fireplace, how picturesque. I aimed for a quaint coffee shop in the Old Port. I even parrelled one handed while talking on the phone, I know I'm good, yet I didn't have any quarters....blasted and no free parking spots.

Longing for the days of Quebec city, road trips and quiet time together. OT tomorrow, should be easy money. starting to feel holiday-e. A few more days and we will be making the trek to my parents house for Thanksgiving. I can almost taste the gravy now. Christmas will be in Maine; I have like 11 days off, which will be wonderful and my parents and randma are coming this way.

I am trying to enrich my life. I am trying my hand at trying out for ski school again at Shawnee Peak www.shawneepeak.com Amy and I thought it would be fun. I plan on working on Fridays and getting the free season's pass. if I am smart I will try to squeeze one out for Andre too! Let's see what magic I have up my sleeve.

Ok back to that blank Word document...I must make at least a rough draft before tonights' burrito eating, art seeing, vampire biting fun night.

Just the two of us.

So last week 'Dre told me that he really wanted to take me to Quebec City, vieux Quebec (the old city). We had so much fun. The ride there I had a fever and chills, nice, but we bought the hotel from priceline and I din't want to spend the $5 a night on insurance to change the dates...note to self spend the $10! Of course I had to get sick, it was vacation and not a day at the office. We made the most of it. My fever broke sometime Saturday early morning and we had the whole weekend to enjoy our vacation. Nothing was going to let me be a sniffly whiny be-otch!
We only got lost once, on the way there, but we didn't even mind because it was an adventure! The first bar we went into was called Bar 321 and we ordered a drink, tried to play pool but 2 guys beat us to it, walked by a couple of guys at the bar, a table of women, a table with 3 guys, a table with 2 guys drinking girlie drinks and before I could say"honey look, I can read that and it's in French saying something about one person at a time in the bathroom!" 'Dre had already figured it out....we were the only couple in a gay bar! It was possibly the most fun bar we had encountoured that night, so we shrugged and I danced to the music in my seat.

Uploading pictures from the Fourth of July (Hannawa Falls, NY), James and Deanne's wedding (Winslow,ME), Family visit to Maine, and a day at the Wildlife Park (Gray, ME)/POW WOW.

sunny day off

Having a domestic day. Jeremy says I am an American Housewife!

Doing Laundry, making burgers and pasta salad, Target-bound, then laying by the pool with my girlfriend!

Enjoying life, lots to do...

Adios
Sunshine!

Blogging from a new locale!

I'm back and better than even!

We have moved across town ("Movin' on up, we finally have a piece of the pie!"). Taking a few minutes between unpacking boxes for me. Words cannot express how happy I feel inside. This was a good move; a GREAT move! Andre and I are SO happy. A beautiful townhouse with parking, a patio and a yard, quiet, a dishwasher (a real one, not just Dre') and thanks to my parents...a washer and a dryer, so we never have to go to the laundromat again!

HAPPY DANCE. HAPPY DANCE.

The place is really shaping up, the more we unpack. We have already christianed the kitchen with a few good meals, bbqs and lobster with family and friends. I feel so lucky everyday, just to be alive, in this moment, living.

A part of me will always feel connected to our funky loft and our cute apartment before that, but with every move is a new life, new experiences and new memories to make. New memories with old friends I hope (near and far) and maybe a few new friends?!?!

To my friends that I haven't seen in awhile, know that I miss you and think of you so many times at the most random times. You bring a smile to my face and I need you in my life. I am working on reunions with you as we speak. Also, please know this; a part of me is sad to know that life goes on, even when we are apart...and time is all we have and time is all we lack.

I love my job and yet I want a change. I need to work yet long for things that would cause me to return to school, only to get a degree that would allow me to make less money. Does any of this make sense. I need your guidance. Is it smart to go into debt for something full knowing that you will not make advances monetarily?

Pack to unpacking. We have friends coming this weekend for dinner and want the house to look good!

Sweet dreams.
...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOE!