stress

It is time to blog. Time to tell the world how I am feeling; maybe some blog therapy.

Two days ago I experienced the most outlandish form of rage at work. Let me create a visual - finger in my face, yelling, I told you that you are in my personal space, hyperventalaing, panic attack, bawling mess of a meeting.

Let's move ahead 2 days...
jaw clenching, stomach knotting, headache inducing, teeth grinding, sleep missing ball of emotions.

please fix.

Good afternoon web world.

Good afternnon. It's been awhile and have missed my blogger. Here I am mid-November and I am faced with art school graduat applications. How does one represent oneself in a one page document? I wish they required a blog entry instead. I am sitting in Panara trying to find my groove, green tea beside me, pink floral scarf to keep off the chill. Scored a sweet table right next to the fireplace, how picturesque. I aimed for a quaint coffee shop in the Old Port. I even parrelled one handed while talking on the phone, I know I'm good, yet I didn't have any quarters....blasted and no free parking spots.

Longing for the days of Quebec city, road trips and quiet time together. OT tomorrow, should be easy money. starting to feel holiday-e. A few more days and we will be making the trek to my parents house for Thanksgiving. I can almost taste the gravy now. Christmas will be in Maine; I have like 11 days off, which will be wonderful and my parents and randma are coming this way.

I am trying to enrich my life. I am trying my hand at trying out for ski school again at Shawnee Peak www.shawneepeak.com Amy and I thought it would be fun. I plan on working on Fridays and getting the free season's pass. if I am smart I will try to squeeze one out for Andre too! Let's see what magic I have up my sleeve.

Ok back to that blank Word document...I must make at least a rough draft before tonights' burrito eating, art seeing, vampire biting fun night.

Just the two of us.

So last week 'Dre told me that he really wanted to take me to Quebec City, vieux Quebec (the old city). We had so much fun. The ride there I had a fever and chills, nice, but we bought the hotel from priceline and I din't want to spend the $5 a night on insurance to change the dates...note to self spend the $10! Of course I had to get sick, it was vacation and not a day at the office. We made the most of it. My fever broke sometime Saturday early morning and we had the whole weekend to enjoy our vacation. Nothing was going to let me be a sniffly whiny be-otch!
We only got lost once, on the way there, but we didn't even mind because it was an adventure! The first bar we went into was called Bar 321 and we ordered a drink, tried to play pool but 2 guys beat us to it, walked by a couple of guys at the bar, a table of women, a table with 3 guys, a table with 2 guys drinking girlie drinks and before I could say"honey look, I can read that and it's in French saying something about one person at a time in the bathroom!" 'Dre had already figured it out....we were the only couple in a gay bar! It was possibly the most fun bar we had encountoured that night, so we shrugged and I danced to the music in my seat.

Uploading pictures from the Fourth of July (Hannawa Falls, NY), James and Deanne's wedding (Winslow,ME), Family visit to Maine, and a day at the Wildlife Park (Gray, ME)/POW WOW.

sunny day off

Having a domestic day. Jeremy says I am an American Housewife!

Doing Laundry, making burgers and pasta salad, Target-bound, then laying by the pool with my girlfriend!

Enjoying life, lots to do...

Adios
Sunshine!

Blogging from a new locale!

I'm back and better than even!

We have moved across town ("Movin' on up, we finally have a piece of the pie!"). Taking a few minutes between unpacking boxes for me. Words cannot express how happy I feel inside. This was a good move; a GREAT move! Andre and I are SO happy. A beautiful townhouse with parking, a patio and a yard, quiet, a dishwasher (a real one, not just Dre') and thanks to my parents...a washer and a dryer, so we never have to go to the laundromat again!

HAPPY DANCE. HAPPY DANCE.

The place is really shaping up, the more we unpack. We have already christianed the kitchen with a few good meals, bbqs and lobster with family and friends. I feel so lucky everyday, just to be alive, in this moment, living.

A part of me will always feel connected to our funky loft and our cute apartment before that, but with every move is a new life, new experiences and new memories to make. New memories with old friends I hope (near and far) and maybe a few new friends?!?!

To my friends that I haven't seen in awhile, know that I miss you and think of you so many times at the most random times. You bring a smile to my face and I need you in my life. I am working on reunions with you as we speak. Also, please know this; a part of me is sad to know that life goes on, even when we are apart...and time is all we have and time is all we lack.

I love my job and yet I want a change. I need to work yet long for things that would cause me to return to school, only to get a degree that would allow me to make less money. Does any of this make sense. I need your guidance. Is it smart to go into debt for something full knowing that you will not make advances monetarily?

Pack to unpacking. We have friends coming this weekend for dinner and want the house to look good!

Sweet dreams.
...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOE!

I'm alive!

I'm alive, just have been without internet! Have been back in Maine, a short trip to Binghamton, NY for work and I am currently at my parents house in Northern NY. It's been a crazy summer with all of the traveling for work. I've had about enough honestly.

It's nice to be home with mom, dad, mimi, andre, cooney and kozmo. Relaxing and helping dad with projects like digging a hole for the flag pole (ok the boys did that, I documented), helping mom cook, having a backgammon tournament and today we will be christening a new green canoe! It finally stopped raining, for now at least! Can't say it's warm, but at least it's not pouring (right now).

Uploading photos from Reunion HWS 5 years http://picasaweb.google.com/brookeannrobinson/HWSReunion20095YEARS#and photos from my month in NYC http://picasaweb.google.com/brookeannrobinson/NYCBrooklynAndQueensMay2009##

So we are moving! So excited and ready for a change in space. A patio, yard, 2 bedroom townhouse WITH dishwasher and PARKING! I feel so grown up. We take possesion Tuesday! I am itching to move in, although it may be a slow process.... COME VISIT! It's summer in Maine!

Last day at LGA

Last day at LGA. I've heard that one before... and a little leary due to the fact I still don't have a flight for tomorrow! Looking forward to being home and kickin' around. It will be nice not to talk about work all the time too! Last night was nice though, a wonderful Italian meal of gnnochi in a vodka sauce with 2 different cheeses. Mmmm and my favorite...sangria; red not white.

The food has been amazing here. I have seen more of New York and the boroughs than ever! I think I will miss it greatly. I have seen JW and JC more in the past 2 months than in many years past! I have had amazing adventures in food, drink, subway, and friends with 'Dre exploring Queens, Brooklyn, Jackson Heights, Manhattan and all it's little nooks and crannies, Corona, Flushings and College Point. I have spent money on purses from trashbags, food, drink, metro passes, passes to the MOMA, street vendors, tshirts, shoes, but mostly food for 2 (me and 'Dre).

JC and I had a picnic in Central Park Monday night; brie, club crackers, wasabi almonds, diet pepsi, fresh chipotle mango slices and of course gummi bears. Frisbee in the park until I started sweating. Had the biggest dirty martini at the boathouse afterwards. So big I didn't finish it! WOW. It was dark out and we found ourselves in the middle of Central Park, so we paid an African dude to pedal us on his bike to the subway. He was little, we were not! I think we wore him out. He was chuggin' along! When we got to our stop, he walked his bike to his next destination, never a good sign! Dinner at Dos Caminos, mmm real mexican food with homemade guac and white sangria, that food has heat! man!

I worry I will be bored when I return to my happy home, or left wanting more; not NYC, but maybe Boston or somewhere a little larger than P town. Even from states away, I can still feel the grumpy vibes from work! It's a shame.

Last night in the big apple and I have to work late! Good thing this city never sleeps! Drinks with K dawg tonight, whenever I get out and hopefully chinese take out and a 6er with JW. Quite a lovely send off I think.

The boy is making me dinner tomorrow night, I hope! I can't handle another meal out for awhile! Maybe we should cook breakfast Friday, Little Bookworm? What thinks you?

I heart Queens

I feel like a resident of Queens now. Metro passes, home between 1:30 and 2:30 every night. THIS city truely never sleeps...and neither do i! Screw laundry, I'm enjoying my time outside of work. Dre and I have been living it up on the town each weekend and I've been practicing during the week too. Only a few more days left. YAY. I actually forgot my address the other day. Pretty sad.

Central park is nice, but I like Washington Square Park better. It seems more real. Dre and I went there the other night. IT was so hot and humid I was MELTING. It was late and still so hot. Dre told me I should jump in the fountain to cool off. At fist I was like "WHAT??!?!" and then I changed my mind and it was the best idea ever! So much fun; felt like I was 5 again. I even got him to stick his feet in. I don't care how silly I looked or how dirty that water probably was, but it was amazing. Went to some of Dre and Roosevelts stomping grounds that night too. Gotta love the village and the lower east side.

Ready to go home...

What a wonderful last weekend in NY. Dre and I spent his birthday at the MOMA, loaded sausages on the street, desserts from little italy for breakfast and an interesting Brooklyn experience.

Ever go to a concert that is BYOB? It was sort of an underground establishment. No running water, sinks ripped out, ice in the toilets, stolen electric, smoking allowed inside and for all this we paid $8. The band was cool though and someone almost was sent up into the crowd surfers; good thing his gf stepped in!

So much we have seen and done. The best burger ever at the Jackson Hole Diner and only a 2.5mile walk. Macys was like nothing I had ever seen before! 7 or 8 floors of amazingness. 2 floors just for womens shoes! I want to go back! I bought a pair of sporty sneakers with no backs; purple irriedencant. Who wears flip flops into the city. I mean really!

Can't wait to come home. Miss my baby, and bunny girl and the apartment, even though it is going to be hot in there! Home cooking and friends and Dewey's and Rosie's. cheaper prices and familiar things. gotten really good at the subway, finding new places, venturing out on my own and taking it all in. I will not miss how muggy and loud it is down there though!

Exhausted in NY!

Exhausted in NY! I don't know what's wrong with me, maybe trashbag shopper wore me out!? Going into the city tonight, it's been 3 days!!! Redhead and Spaz come tonight. YAY visitors :)

lost in ny...

lost in ny...
only someone not used to the subway would make plans to meet up in grand central. i thought it would be easy enough, when you get off the 7, wait for me there. apparently there are numerous sets of stairs and exits and NO CELL SERVICE. can you imagine? no texting, no talking, nothing! Eventually, I made it to ground level to receive my text and make my way along to our final destination.

Text from Trashbag shopper: "we lost our country mouse!"
Text from Dr. Love: "Nooooo! Bring our country mouse home! Find her!"
Text from Trashbag shopper: "Our country mouse is safe"
Text from Dr. Love: "Phew, we can all sleep tonight!"

Enjoying my group here. We all have earned nicknames. I am country mouse/dancing queen...don't ask! The ninja has been hanging out with us more, when he isn't dodging shuttles. G underpants doesn't know he has a nickname but he does. Sometimes he's grumpy but loveable. And Dallas has been a hoot to hang out with! Newbie joined us today. Trashbag shopper will be missed!

Pictures to come...maybe tonight if I am not sucked in by the city train!

NYC... er Queens

NYC/Queens. I survived my first week. I discovered the subway's not as scary as I remembered it; white people CAN be the minority, if you are in the right place; and a can of sardines is roomy compared o the 7 train on a Saturday night. You don't need to know a lot of spanish to know Americano means they are talking about you! I have never experienced so many people staring at me just because I was white! Found ourselves in Chinatown aka Flushing Queens and were trying to find an Italian restaurant. Sometimes it's easier to go with the flow than swim up stream! Chinese food it is. The best Chinese food I have EVER had! The kind of place where you order seafood and they grab it from a tank and slaughter it before they cook it up for you. That's fresh!

More later. sleep now. my heart hurts when it's pulling to Portland and upstate :(

Day 11

Excruciating pain! I have only felt pain worse than this once in my lifetime - when I got my tonsils out a few years ago. This leg pain is constant and keeps me up at night and bitching all day! Thank God for the pain meds, yet it's funny; they barely make a difference.

Big homesick day. 9 more days of this. they should be paying me more for this. i am missing my life at home, yet making strides in my career. i guess it's true...you can't have both successfully. remember that folks.

have had the best meals here. they are so delicious! i can feel my arteries clogging as i swallow. I've decided that i am going to take myself out for Easter brunch.

I've decided some people look better with their helmets on, like Tom Brady and ellsbury and ortiz and manny. it's true sometimes i like watching baseball for the cute butts. don't worry i still love my NYY. The Sox were playing Kansas City and it made me think of all those men in cute pants!

Louiville

Louisville, Kentucky; not very impressive yet. I've been here a week and my favorite things are the IMAX theatre where you can hit 2 shows for $12 and the free bar at the hotel; every week night from 6-8 FREE beer and wine (and dinner)! Who wouldn't like it!? Well, probably someone who doesn't drink. It's been exhausting. Only cried once I think. Surprisingly did not shed a tear today, even though I had t spend my day off at Urgent Care and then the ER; it's only 7.5 hours of my life, no biggie. no real improvement either. everyone kept trying to give me a doctor's note for work and I kept telling them that's why I'm in Kentucky! Apparently, some people choose to visit? Odd. I doubt I'll be back. There really isn't a lot to see here. I do want to cross the Ohio River; the bridge looks pretty cool. I loved the English Pub on Fourth Street, but sadly I have only found one of their local beers that I enjoy; Bluegrass Brewing Company Nut Brown. Bedtime soon. Miss my baby and Portland and all things comfortable and familiar and my friends and family. Next weekend will be harder given that it's Easter... Only the STRONG survive!

hello again

Well hello again. It's been a busy month. Maine to Florida to Maine and Kentucky is next. For months I couldn't wait to get deployed; everything is new and exciting. Now I have my papers and I don't want to go for that long. I gotta man up though because I am the lead evaluator. I will try and ost some photos of cool things I see out West. I don't think I can catch up on the last month, so I am not going to stress myself out and even try. Resting up today; hurt my leg some how. ice, heat, ice, heat.

Another birthday, another blizzard

So my birthday was perfect. Shopping with Mom and sometimes Dad - gotta love the President's Week Sales - what a great time for a birthday! Mom and I love the shopping and we even swung by the makeup counter ;) I love hanging out with my parents. No matter what we do we have fun, even if it's watching tv, having a snack, playing with the puppy or going to the gym/mall/happy hour! I couldn't ask for better parents, they are like my best friends and I only wish they lived closer or me to them. I think it's because I'm an OC (only child) that we get along so well. We were always the Three Musketeers!

We ventured someplace new for lunch on Friday the 20th, FYI lunch at DiMillo's Floating Restaurant, which was cheaper than a night out at $3 Deweys! It was amazing food and atmosphere, even at the ever-stately bar! They have quite a few stimulus price reductions; $5 lunch specials and $15 dinners along with free happy hour apps and drink specials! Ok now I sound like a commercial!

Speaking of commercials...my FAVORITE one right now is the McD's commercial for the fillet of fish sung my the wall trophy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bJOIqVAD-s Seriously, I might have a problem because I laugh out loud when I see this!

Birthday again...I got distracted, was awesome. A great dinner at RiRa's, a tradition now, with a not-so-great yet amusing waiter. Steve was his name and he took better photographs than he did orders. Everything was a mess but I was happily amused and the food we received was great! A Divine chocolate cake with pink frosting! The best frosting I've ever had. Go Shaws! I mentioned awhile ago to my mom that I wanted a pink cake for my birthday and she said I thought you wanted chocolate and I said I do and then realized that chocolate wasn't pink and said...Oh I don't know! and proceeded with a previous conversation. My parents have found a way for me to have my pink cake and eat it too! YAY

Mom, Dad and I went to J's Oyster, a great little dive! he best seafood in town, no-frills. Raw scallops, a huge plate of mussels, spicy mac and cheese, calm chowdah and some beverages to top it all off. Then mom and I got to check out the Art museum, but dad went for a long walk and it was too cold to be outside for over an hour; that ended our night early due to coldness to the bone!

Maggie and Trevor took Andre and I snowshoeing at Pineland Farms Saturday http://www.pinelandfarms.org/visitors/faqs.htm which was awesome and I hurt for three days afterwards! I kept having races and then falling over my snowshoes! Andre was always the fastest, I was number two, well until I fell and then I was the caboose and everyone had to run back and help pull me up from the one hole my un-snowshoed foot had made. One time the snow went up mid-thigh on my un-snowshoed foot! Wish we would have taken pictures during our 3mile trek.

On my actual birthday, Andre and Greg (Andre's dad), took me out to breakfast at the Bayou Kitchen....mmm...nothing like grits and crawfish in your omelet! Andre brought me shopping and we met up with Amy and continued to Margaritas! Did you know my birthday is National Margaritas Day, yet now Margarita Specials!? Weird! We played pool at the OPT billiards, which have a beautiful view of the street below and twinkle lights lining each cathedral arched window. Doe and Matt even ventured out to celebrate mi cumpleanos! Much fun and music was had by all, until Brookie got hungry and 'Dre and I went to Gritty's for some Bangers and Smash and a backgammon tournament! It was really quite sweet...I have this pocket magnetic backgammon game now and it was in my purse and we had a blast (He almost beat me, but I won by a hair)! One of the cutest things was when we had cake and everyone sang to me over speakerphone! Another birthday...another blizzard.

Birthday week.

I love food. Is it normal to look forward to eating raw scallops, sushi, cheese fries or a juicy burger? I should hope so! Three days until my birthday and I have been contemplating making a plan. This will be the first birthday I will be spending with my boyfriend and our friends. My parents have to leave saturday to make it back to work on Monday, so we have been celebrating all week instead. We've been having a great time relaxing and trying new spots, shopping and just catching up. Off to J's and the adventure continues...

Happy Vacation, day 4

Watching Rachel Ray and Chef Ramsay. Chef Ramsay is so good looking AND he can cook! How does he not gain weight? Oh my God...he runs marathons and is in an Iron Man competition! I think it's his spikey hair I like so much...the way 'Dre used to spike his hair...now that I think about it, most of my boyfriends have had the super-sexy spikey hair, at one point or another. Interesting....

I slept a lot last night and slept in this morning. I cannot believe it; maybe it was allergies and not a cold, or maybe I cured myself?!

I'm feeling myself drawn to Yoga. I think I want to join a class. I think my mom would like it too, maybe she will join me in a class this week. Mom and dad are only a few hours away. Andre is coming home for lunch, which I think is going to be so sweet. I doubt I will be hungry, but I will make him something yummy.

Five days until my birthday.... yay.

stress...

Remember when you would kill yourself studying during finals and the first day of vacation you would get sick? Apparently that happens with work too! I am finally on vacation from my stressful jobby job and guess what....I have a cold. Figures...

Fight the GERMS! Hopefully it doesn't turn into anything serious. I hate being sick on my birthday. Looking forward to my parents coming to visit! YAY

VDAY part2

Today we continue our VDAY celebration. Our first year we did not stay at the apartment and cook thai food and go to a movie. We are in Portsmouth, NH. We roadtripped down here with our friends Matt and Amy. We are exploring and have been enjoying the town. We went out to lunch and painted the town red and when dinner time came along, we wen back to the hotel, enjoyed the hot tub, and playing star wars trivial pursuit and eating pizza and snackies and enjoying champagne out of styrofoam cups! It's been amazing. I love my boyfriend. Today we've been lounging and looking forward to grabbing brunch at the ever famous friendly toast! super psyched to find a last minute deal on a nice hotel (less than $40/person)! I love a good deal. So yes this year despite the economy, we splurged a little, but not on anything we wouldn't normally, just in a different town :) Today starts my birthday week! Off to enjoy. Back to Portland tonight....

Friday the 13th!

Ahhh the gym. We have a love/hate relationship. i love the effects (please note the correct usage of effect, it's not easy!) and hate the dragging my butt there and the sweating part. i wish i had faster metabolism and could be like emily and go on candy diets and never gain weight. someday miss emily....it will catch up with you...HAHHAA...probably not though! ;)

time to get on with this day...this Friday the 13th!
planning on doing some housework, some shopping, some pedicuring, some pampering to prepare for our mini VACA to Portsmouth, NH. just a little out of town get-away with our friends Matt and Amy. We shall soon see what NH has in store for 2 couples from Maine.

feeling ill and restless. was told one thing this morning and the complete opposite this afternoon, that's government. TGIP (Thank Good ness It's Payday), my landlord will rejoice, I'm sure. dinner out tonight, a typical money burning a whole in my pocket feeling, although I am sure I shouldn't given the economy and bills, but what the hell, right?! you only live once, so live like everyday is Friday, I say! It's almost my birthday and I am feeling older, or maybe rather just wiser. missing the carefree days of PCS or HWS. The days of no bills or rent or worrying about what you are eating or putting into your body - will it make you fat, wrinkled, clog your arteries, give you a rash or make your tummy wish it was never born?!

Song in my head:
"Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, I gotta love one man 'til I die, So I can't help lovin' that man of mine." ~ That's all I really know to the song, I think someone sang it on Idol the other day?
Done for now.

Facebook.

Facebook.

What can I say about this post-myspace craze? Do I think it is insane to spend hours on a computer when interactions could take place with "real," kinda. I will say facebook has allowed me to keep in touch with friends and family and friends i had lost touch with. So bravo facebook, but must we really water everyone's garden and do every test that comes our way? It's getting to be a big commitment. As of late, if you don't friend someone immediately, they think you ae mad at them...I can't take the pressure. I don't log on everyday; after being at a computer screen all day, I have no desire!

Let me also tell you a story: I decided not to friend a few people I work with; I am sure they are nice people, but they are not my friends in real life. So I did not friend them. Now hey won't talk to me in real life; grow up people. Just becaause I don't want you to see my photos from who knows when, know what i am doing everytime i update my status, or let you into my "real"/personal life does not mean you can't be civil. Peple need to realize there is a waiting period to be friends. I have one. At work, I don't really think we are friends until I have worked with you and know how you will respond to situations and if you will help out with SSSS or if you will turn your head until at least 3-6 months. Some of my best friends from work are from what Bling Bling, as I call him, calls the "old" group. Yesterday, he informed me I was from the "new old" group versues the "new people" as I so kindly refer to them as. What do I mean here? Well there are those that started, they are from the begining of the organization, or pretty close; those that came 2 - 3 years ago (me), and those that are less than 6 mo in and know everything, just ask them.

The new people are the ones that come in waves, a handful at a time and no one can remember their name until they give their resignation letter. These are the people that don't have any staying power, which is why I don't friend everyone on Facebook. You gotta make the cut. My rules: don't piss me off, don't put your finger in my face, don't try to be my best friend your first week on the job and we have to be friends in real life to be friends on facebook. As much as I liked mentoring, the new people annoy me. I am tired of them. Why can't people stay at a job after you'v interested months of YOUR life training them. They can't be trusted. Not until you know they aren't going to leave before they are through training.

BLAH...

This is my blog so I can say what I want. I am bored in Maine! I am tired of it and the same old things. I am sad people live in suburbia! I want to move out of Maine all together. Tomorrow I will have to go back to work again and my chance to do anything fun will be over! I am in a funk. BLAH. Someone entertain me please!

On a good note...last week Andre bought me some beautiful roses! I love my boyfriend.

One of my friends right now is making me sad. She lives out of state and thinks she has te right to tell me what to do with my life. I'm sick of hearing it, even when it comes without words. No one has ever told me how to live my life and no one is going to start now!