less than 2 weeks...

Less than 2 weeks until classes and my excitement is laced with nerves and tears. First visit to Naz as a resident of NY, well not according to the DMV, but as far as the postal service is concerned, we live in NYState.

You can accomplish a lot when you are organized. I got my books, went to Financial Aid and they will reimburse me next week, met my new boss, took care of my parking, security keychain and student ID card. Can I tell you how weird it is to have a student ID card again. I am excied about the discounts at movies, events, etc, even if it is only a few dollars. I introduce myself as a graduate student, from Maine. My prior self was from NY, upstate, not NYC, and I worked for the Federal Government.

enjoying Rochester, but things are quiet at night, even in the daytime. I guess I could put music on or soething, but it's not the same. *miss you* meeting some nice people and might join a group of girls who enjoy community service and organizing events. also interested in an art co-op! Of course classes and my grad assistanceship comes first. So some of these ideas might have to wait a semester.

week 1 in my new hometown

sometimes changes can be so overwhelming you don't know where to begin, even when the goodbyes are done the focus is still in the past. seeing all of your possessions in monotone cardboard boxes of varying sizes makes you wonder, what's inside? do I need that anymore, since I have been functioning without it for days, and finally where's the match?! i think i said that numerous times this move, where's the match? even after giving away our couch, TV, and grill, among other last minute dismissals, there was still too much for the U-haul. I knew it wouldn't be big enough when we ordered it. Sometimes it sucks to be right :)

currently co-habitating with ants. at least they know enough not to go into he bedroom. apparently they like the raid ant traps, possibly have built up a sort of immunity or acquired taste for it, however they are less numerous, yet even upsetting.

I have been sharing a bed with a "Bear," a giant bear that Dre won for me at Old Orchard Beach, complete with sand. I assuming it's him, as I wake up in a small pile of it each morning. If it's coming from me, we've got problems.

3 weeks until classes begin. I still need to setup my parking, ID card, graduate assistance-ship and safety key chain. A trip to school is in order this week!

must go be productive, not just creatively, but physically.

Duchess

Duchess...our bunny girl...has a new home.

Last night, Sheila came to pick her up in a torrential downpour. Duchess and I played a lot this week and we spoiled her with treats and fresh veggies. Every time I looked at her I cried, a few times uncontrollably. Last night I held it together until the front door closed and then head buried in Dre's shirt, I made a snot rag out of his polo. Duchess will be living with 12 other bunny-sisters and brothers. She will be spoiled rotten, as Sheila has invested in heated water dishes and she will get to run around all the time without any cage-time. I couldn't ask for a better person to adopt her :) I knew Sheila would be a great when she sent me photos of her bunnies and where Duchess would be living. She even promised to send me photos of Duchess, just as soon as she takes them :) Sheila even offered for us to visit if we like. She's perfect!

Changes...
I will post photos soon. Duchess we will always love you, even if you live somewhere else.

Dear 20 year old self...

Dear 20 year old self,

What would I do differently? Nothing really. You really learn best from experience, sorry, but that won't change.

Try not to cry so easily or worry what other people think.

Phrases you will become quite familiar with:
"Can I get that in writing?"
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"This too shall pass."

Don't drink gin. Don't move out of state for a 50 cent pay raise. And the 10% discount isn't worth opening another credit card.

Follow your heart and your gut. And give second chances, but thirds.

And lastly, the dishes can wait. Have fun!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow. Full of expectations, smiles, promise, sunshine, new perspectives, hope, laughter, smoked salmon on an English muffin with chive cream cheese, capers and onion, and best of all you will be there.



My quote of the day: "Anyone can be interesting for 2 minutes."

Super Size Me

Finally watched Super Size Me directed by and starring Morgan Spurlock; couldn't help but make a trip to the Golden Arches to follow. I know it should have inspired me, but really, it made me crave the nuggets, the mystery meat. Surprisingly, the nuggets are only about 200 calories, so I didn't feel too guilty eating all 6. Although, I don't think I could eat Mccy D's everyday, let alone 3 times a day for a month, one box of chicken love won't put me over the edge. I would definitely recommend this documentary, followed by a Big Mac.

quick study break

so a quick study break from Psychology of Learning, my one class I am taking at USM. it was harder than anticipated and thus, much studying has been occurring, as of late. Tuesday is the final and I NEED a good grade. will be staked out here until they close at midnight, then tomorrow another camp out and Tuesday will consist of studying and then group studying before the exam.

frustrated, nervous, but i am learning and retaining information...it's a process.

back to it...

Update

It's been awhile friend. So much has happened.

Things are looking up. Trying to focus on the quality of each day in my life. I feel like I have put a lot of things into perspective in the last 9 months, possibly even 2 years. I have learned life lessons I would have rather'd not, yet with each one comes wisdom, growth and choices. I have definitely learned a lot! With that said, I have promised myself to look to the future and focus on what I can change and the little gifts I have each day.

A supportive and loving family, boyfriend, and friends, nice clean sheets, a pay check, going to the farmer's market (what a find! Thanks Allison), kickboxing, a season of Bones on DVR, Saturdays together, laundry clean, folded and put away, a home cooked meal, cheesy potatoes, babies, and keeping in touch, even if sparingly.

I am happy, despite some challenges, I wouldn't change a thing.

letting it all out

so day 3 back from vay-cay. interesting. it's always something and i am tired of playing. still feeling like a shell, but it's protection, nothing more. requesting transcripts tonight via Kinko's and feeling like things could fall into place for me. recommenders have already/started/finished with my letters. i love them. it's so great to have people in your life that want you to do well.

OK so I am putting myself out there and hoping for good vibes...i am applying to a joint program in art and design through northeastern and the school of the museum of fine arts in Boston:
http://www.northeastern.edu/gradstudies/
http://www.smfa.edu/

and...an art therapy program at Nazareth College in Rochester NY:
http://www.naz.edu/dept/grad_studies/

the good old boys club at la casa de trabajar is killing me. think i am taking it better but am not interested in playing ball and weaving their web. think i even pulled the rug out from giraffe man today. you can't expect me to do yoga when you have the memory of a bat and the flexibility of a chicken bone.

trying to be chill for everyone in my life and me as well. loving going to my trainer. go splurge! best $ i have spent in a long time to almost throw up and barely walk.

time to see a few amigos at amigos now, but first, let us not forget to fax those transcript requests! my ticket to freedom and hopefully a journey of happiness.

2010

more than a month since I last reported. crazy busy with art school apps. yep i am trying to get in despite all of the obstacles. all my slides still need to be scanned, the scanner was incompatible and now that's it's hooked up to 'Dre's beast of a computer, the color is all off. I am afraid to alter them for sake of being disqualified. i shall try my old scanner tonight and otherwise i will go gay $40 and have photo market steal my hard earned money.

waiting for responses from recommenders.....wish me luck.

working on personal statemnt, artist statement, and actual application as well as slide list and slide powerpoint!

but first, off to the gym to work with my personal trainer. possibly the best money i have spent in a long time!